Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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