Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
