Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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