i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
