Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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