how can u be prego again
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
