I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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