He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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