I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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