i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
