is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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