so explain again why im purple
no
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
