u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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