dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
