Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
