I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
