Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
