Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
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