two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Randomize
