My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
