You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
