giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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