paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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