So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
