The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
