I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
