We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
