He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
