i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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