Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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