So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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