Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
