Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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