I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I can't turn off my feet"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
