took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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