you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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