I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
