she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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