I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
