OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
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After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
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i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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