my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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