Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
