Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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