eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
