I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize