There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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