I accidentally had phone sex last night
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
