She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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