And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
