Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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