Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
