i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
