Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
