Did you just see the Batmobile???
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
