he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
