There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
