There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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