He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
