U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
