I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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