brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
