She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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